


Twins Entwined, Untangled

by boredomsMuse



Series: Endless Colours Across My Skin [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Soulmarks, Soulmates, Unhappy Ending, happy ending in a different part, no beta we die like person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:34:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: As a child, Roman believed soulmates were a shakable.  An unbreakable sign from the universe that there was someone out there who would always love you.Sitting outside a hospital room, staring at an empty arm, Roman could only sigh.  He supposed everyone has to grow up eventually.A look into the complicated soulbond between Roman and Remus and the mess it all becomes
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: Endless Colours Across My Skin [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582492
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59





	Twins Entwined, Untangled

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd sorry.  
> It's an idea I had after a chat in the discord server that explores a DRLAMP soulbond that doesn't quite start out as perfect as soulmates should be.
> 
> This part centers on Roman and Remus.
> 
> You find me on insta - @kailsmusings

As a child, Roman believed soulmates were a shakable. An unbreakable sign from the universe that there was someone out there who would always love you.

Sitting outside a hospital room, staring at an empty arm, Roman could only sigh. He supposed everyone has to grow up eventually.

They found out by accident. Left to their own devices as Dot did chores around the house, they’d decided they wanted to draw. Which, of course, meant making a mess as they pulled down the markers from the shelf and then not being able to find the paper. 

“The wall’s like a big piece of paper!” Remus claimed. 

“But then Dot will have to clean them.” Roman pointed out, frowning a little. “I don’t think she likes cleaning.”

“Hm,” Remus hummed, thinking as seriously as a five-year-old can think. Except he was holding his marker in the hand he brought up to his chin.

“Oh!” Roman grinned, a light bulb sparking. “We can draw on us!”

“Yeah!” Remus agreed. 

As they drew, the strangest thing happened. Remus was drawing a very large dragon on his right up when the very same dragon appeared on Roman’s arm.

“Remus!” He gasped. “Your dragon!” He exclaimed, holding out his right arm.

“How’d you get that?” Remus frowned. 

“I don’t know! It just showed up!” Roman grinned. “I wanna try.”

When Dot walked back into the room she sighed at the mess on the ground and the mess on their skin. She should have known better than to leave them alone. At least they looked like they were having fun.

“Getting up to trouble are you?” She asked, smiling as they looked up at her.

“Dot! Look!” They said in unison, jumping up and holding out their right arms.

“You do it.” Roman grinned at Remus.

“Okay!” As Dot watched, confused, Remus drew a yellow line on his right arm. Roman giggled as the very same line, now coloured a green so bright it almost glowed, drew itself on Roman’s arm.

“Isn’t it cool?” Remus asked.

“It’s amazing!” Dot grinned wide. “You’re soulmates!”

“Soulmates?” Roman repeated, head tilting in confusion.

“Yep, soulmates! It means you’re always going to be there for each other.” She explained. It’d be years before Roman knew how overly simplified that explanation that was. And how wrong. But back then he was just excited. “And it means that whenever you draw on your skin, you’ll both see it!”

“Cool.” The twins breathed.

“But how come it only works on that arm?” Remus asked after a minute, frowning.

“I bet it’s because you each have another soulmate, your other arms for them.” Dot said.

“I wonder what they’ll be like.” Roman said, grinning. “I wonder if they can draw dragons like you Re.”

“I bet they can’t draw them half as good as me.” Remus claimed, puffing his chest out. “And I bet they can’t draw crowns nearly as well as you.” Dot laughed a little as they talked about their other soulmates, not quite understanding they wouldn’t be the same person.

“Come on you two.” Dot said. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

When Dot came in the next day, she’d brought them both a special pen.

“It’s a soulmate pen.” Dot explained, smiling. “It’s tradition to get one that matches the colour of your soulmate after you meet.” 

“That’s so cool!” Roman grinned, staring in awe at the green pen Dot had handed over.

After that, the boys were never seen without their pens in their pockets and drawings covering their right arms. Even as they grew older and learnt to write, words never took over the arm. Remus didn’t have the patience to write down his thoughts, preferring to sketch them instead. The few words they did share didn’t make sense to anyone else, instead a shorthand language they’d made together.

Dot encouraged their closeness. “Don’t forget,” she’d smile when their mother was being particularly absent, “you’ll always have each other.”

Their teachers cooed at their closeness. “How sweet. Familial bonds are rather rare.” They said.

“Of course your soulmates, you’re twins.” Their mother scoffed when they told her, during one of the rare meals they had together.

But things changed when they were ten.

“What do you think Mr Buttface is talking to mum about?” Remus asked Roman, drawing on his brothers arm to make sure the picture came out perfect on his own.

“I don’t know.” Roman said, shrugging the arm Remus wasn’t drawing on.

“Remus, name calling is rude.” Dot scolded lightly from where she was putting away dishes.

“He calls us names.” Remus agreed. “Like clingy, and co-dependant. What does that even mean?” He huffed.

“It means you and Roman care about each other.” Dot claimed.

“No it doesn’t.” Remus mumbled, too low for the nanny to hear. He might not know what the word really meant but he knew when Dot was lying. So could Roman, though he was much too shy to say anything about it.

“They’re probably just talking about how our grades are awesome.” Roman said. “Everything’ll be fine.”

Remus could tell when he was lying too.

“Dot, you’re dismissed for the night.” Those were Rowena Prince’s first words as she returned home. Roman looked up from Remus’ finished drawing and couldn’t help but gulp. Something was wrong. He looked to Dot who hesitated, looking between the boys and their mother. Then she sighed.

“Of course Ms Prince.” She said. “Goodnight boys.”

“Goodnight.” Roman murmured as Remus shouted his own farewell. 

“To the kitchen table.” Rowena ordered once the nanny had left. Roman and Remus shared a look, Remus’ curious and Roman’s worried.

“It’s okay.” Remus whispered, squeezing Roman’s hand as they got off the couch. 

Rowena was quiet as they sat, and as they started to fidget. It felt like an hour had passed before she finally spoke.

“I expect for my work not to be interrupted for things like this ever again.” She started.

“Yes ma’am.” Roman mumbled as Remus just looked away.

“He’s informed me that neither of you interact with your other classmates.” She said.

“We don’t need to.” Remus mumbled, adding a belated ‘sorry’ when Rowena glared at him. Roman kept his mouth shut. That wasn’t exactly accurate, he talked with their classmates sometimes. But a lot of them were mean to Remus and the others never really talked to  both of them and Roman couldn’t have that. Remus and him were a package deal.

“He’s also concerned you’re using your soulbond to cheat on tests.” Rowena said.

“What?” Roman frowned at the same time Remus shouted, “We aren’t!”

“How else is anyone meant to take those symbols you both write?” Rowena scoffed. “This is being put to a stop now.”

“We aren’t cheating mum, I promise.” Roman tried.

“I don’t care if you are, it’s clear the two of you need space. I should never have allowed this ridiculousness to keep going. Starting from now you are never to write on your arm during school hours, and if you don’t start making new friends I’ll ensure you don’t have access to any pens.”

“What? You can’t do that!” Remus argued, jumping from his chair.

“I’m your mother, I can what I want. And I will do what I need to end this unnatural relationship between the two of you.” Rowena said, her glare cold enough that Roman flinched. But Remus, center of her attention, didn’t blink an eye. He’d always been much better at standing up to her than Roman was.

“It’s not unnatural, we’re soulmates!” Roman snapped. “It’s normal for soulmates to spend all their time together!”

“You aren’t  real soulmates.” Rowena scoffed, words colder than even her glare. “You can’t be real soulmates, you’re bothers. All you have is a familial bond, and I will not allow that to get in the way of your lives for any longer.” Remus had more to say, Roman was sure, but instead he turned and ran. Not quick enough for Roman to miss the tears pooling in his eyes.

“Remus!” He called, standing from the table.

“Don’t.” A single word from Rowena stopped him in his tracks. “Starting tonight you’ll be sleeping in the guest on the second floor.” Roman’s eyes widened. He didn’t want that. Even since they were little, Remus and he had always shared a room. They didn’t have to, the house was huge, but it was nice not to fall asleep alone. Not to be scared of the dark alone. He wanted to argue, wanted to scream, but he didn’t miss how stiff and tense his mothers perfectly manicured hand was at her side.

Remus had always been better at standing up to their mother.

“Yes ma’am.” Roman mumbled, looking to the ground. 

Dragging himself into his new room, Roman clung to the pen Dot had given him. 

Mum made me move rooms I’m sorry.

Remus didn’t reply.

It’s going to be okay.

Still nothing.

We still have each other.

Finally, Roman felt the tingling of a message being written to him.

For how long?

Dot didn’t come to work the next day. Or ever did again.

* * *

They managed.

They hated it, but they managed.

Rowena had Remus moved from the class and instructed the teachers to watch them closely. It made it impossible to talk at school and almost impossible to write. Almost. Every chance Roman could, he ran a pen across his arm. A line, a drawing, rarely having time for a word. Just something to remind Remus he wasn’t alone. Remus returned the favour, although not as often. 

Of course it all had to be carefully washed off before they got home, but a few hours was better than nothing.

They wrote after they’d gone to bed too. Some nights they covered their arms in writing, written words replacing spoken ones for the first time ever. Other nights one or both of them could only manage drawings, too beaten down to try and write. 

Things got worse, they always got worse. 

Roman had a much easier time meeting their mothers demands. Maybe it was because he was so good an actor, but Roman had no trouble pretending to be cheerful and happy and normal. He joined the school’s sports teams, the theatre group. Throwing himself into a hundred different things was a great way to ignore the hold in his heart.  It shouldn’t hurt so much , he told himself,  he’s right there even if we can’t talk.

He was lying to himself.

Studying was harder without Remus there to tell him jokes and help quiz him. But it was just as distracting a task and Roman managed. He kept his grades up, he proved he hadn’t been cheating.

Remus…

Remus didn’t.

Roman knew they never cheated, but Remus’ grades slipped almost immediately. It wasn’t the only demand he failed. High School was full of horrible people doing horrible things for no good reason and newly popular Roman heard all the gossip. Remus was  weird. He was too loud and too odd and too dark. No one wanted him around, especially not the handful of clubs he tried to join.

“I can’t  believe you two are brothers.” People often said to Roman. “You’re nothing like him.” They added, like it was a good thing. Like it was something Roman wanted to hear.

Everytime Roman thought of shutting them up. He thought of snapping back that Remus was actually awesome, and they weren’t just brothers they were  soulmates so you can take your bullshit and just fuck right off.

But then he thought of his mother. He thought of how she was suddenly in their lives just so she could police them. Remus hadn’t been allowed near a pen in months. All they had left was the silly little doodles Roman drew, the rare line Remus could manage during class (also from a pen he’d stolen from someone else, he had to take a laptop into school to write these days). So Remus bit his tongue and forced a smile.

“Me neither.” He always said.

I love you.  Roman wrote every night.

* * *

By the time they turned fifteen, they had a system. 

No teacher ever saw them together, their mother never caught ink on their arms, she never saw Remus hold a pen. 

That didn’t mean they stopped.

As it turned out, there was a lot of things that work as ink so far as soulbonds are concerned. Paint, mud, wax. That last one always worried Roman but Remus promised it didn’t hurt so he relented. 

There was also a park near their school. One far enough away they could meet up after Roman finished his club-things and walk home together. So long as Remus walked in five minutes before Roman, no one raised an eyebrow. It worked. Sometimes all Roman could think about was how much it all sucked, but it worked.

Then things changed.

Roman came bounding up to their usual tree with the biggest smile on his face.

“What’s got your face spliting?” Remus asked. “Did you get that part you wanted?”

“Even better!” Roman grinned, skidding to a halt in front of Remus. “You’ll never believe what happened today.” 

“You’re probably right.” Remus shrugged, turning like he was really going to walk awat. Of course he wasn’t, but Roman still huffed and stomped his foot. Laughing, Remus turned back. “I’m teasing. What could be better than landing the lead in the school play?”

“My soulmates!” Roman cheered, then quickly corrected himself when Remus’ smile twithced. “My  other soulmates, obviously. They wrote to me!” Lifting his left sleeve, Roman showed off the two shades of blue that littered his arm. “I think they’ve been able to write to each other for a while now, but they seemed really happy about meeting me. I was so busy talking to them I forgot to eat lunch.” He said, laughing.

“You were talking to them during lunch?” Remus frowned. “The teachers let you?”

“Well yeah. I mean, it wasn’t…” He trailed off. “Who knows what goes on with them man.” He shrugged.

“Mysterious creatures teachers.” Remus mumbled, joke a little strained. Roman was too distracted to notice. “Tell me about them.” He encouraged. The whole walk home, Roman ranted about his new soulmates. Puppy and Tie he claimed them, based on the little drawings they used in place of the names that wouldn’t show up. Of course Roman had drawn a crown for his.

When they finally parted, Roman was still grinning ear to ear. Remus’ smile wasn’t so large, wasn’t so really, but Roman didn’t say anything. Later, when he looked back, he’s not sure he even noticed. 

Five minutes after Remus had entered the house, Roman stepped inside. He’d managed to get his mood under control, not wanting to tip her off. Maybe she wouldn’t mind that he had a soulmate that wasn’t Remus, she might even be happy about it. But he doubted she’d be happy with him having two.

“Roman.” She greeted him as he passed her office.

“Ma’am.” Roman returned.

That night, instead of talking to Remus until he passed out, Roman got distracted writing on his left arm. The more he learnt about the two soulmates, the more he found himself wanting to meet them. To know their names and what they looked like. To maybe fall in love with them. 

Of course he didn’t forget about Remus, placing the occasionally doodle and message about his other soulmates on his right arm. It wasn’t the same as the arm full of drawings and messages link usual but surely Remus would understand, right?

* * *

Three days of short messages and simple sketches later, Roman still had a skip in his step as he walked up to meet Remus. 

Then he saw what Remus was doing and he stopped dead.

Well, it wasn’t so much what Remus was doing  then that made Roman stop. All Remus was doing was tracing something on his left arm. No, it was the clear evidence of what Remus had  done that made Roman’s blood run cold.

“Remus?” He said, voice tight. His brother looked up and grinned.

“Hey! What’s the long face for?” Remus asked, pushing himself to his feet.

“Your arm…” Roman mumbled. “Remus, did you…” He swallowed around the word, no sure he wanted to say it. 

“Huh?” Remus frowned before he realized what Roman meant and looked away. “Oh that…” He mumbled.

“Remus, what happened?” Roman asked.

“I just got carried away is all.” Remus shrugged. “I wanted to write a message to you but I didn’t have any ink or wax or mud so I thought, well blood would work. And it did!”

“What do you mean?” Roman prompted, trying to wrap his head around what Remus was saying. He’d… he’d done that because he needed  ink ? 

“Look!” Remus shoved his left arm out and at first all Roman could see were the ugly red marks all but covering the arm. It made him feel sick to his stomach to think off Remus doing that to himself, to think that Roman hadn’t noticed his brother hurting. ‘ No’ , he told himself,  ‘no, Remus said it was for the ink.’ Wanting to think of anything else, he tried to find what Remus was showing him.

There, resting at the top of his wrist, were words written in bright yellow.

Well that doesn’t look like it hurts.

“Your soulmate.” Roman realized.

“My other soulmate!” Remus grinned. “Isn’t it great? We spent all night talking!” 

“All night?” Roman asked, thinking of how blood clots and how… yeah, he was definitely feeling sick.

“I started getting tired eventually, D says it was probably blood loss. That’s his name, by the way. Or as much of it as he can tell me. D. Isn’t it funny?” Remus laughed.

“Funny… Remus, Remus you can’t do this.” Roman said firmly, finally dragging his eyes from Remus’ injured arm. “You can’t, you can’t  hurt  yourself everytime you want to talk to your soulmate.”

“Well what else am I meant to do?” Remus frowned. “Sometimes there’s not another option.”

“I’ll get you a pen.” Roman promised. “I’ll get you something, she’ll never know. I just, I don’t want you hurting yourself. Please.” He pleaded, wrapping his arms tight around Remus’ shoulders. Remus didn’t say anything, frowning and hesitantly hugging Roman back.

“We should go.” He eventually muttered. “Before she notices you’re running late.”

Arms shaking, Roman pulled away. “Okay.” He mumbled. For the first few minutes they walked in silence before Roman just couldn’t take it. Remus wasn’t silent with him. That just wasn’t Remus and around Roman he was meant to be free to be Remus.

“Tell me about him.” Roman said, clearing his throat. “Your other soulmate.”

Remus was happy to do so, talking about D as ethusticastically as Roman spoke about his own soulmates. Despite everything, Roman was glad his brother had someone.

* * *

He cut back on the clubs. No one was happy to see him go but he told them he was starting to prep for college early. 

The same lie worked on his mother. So did telling her he was starting to work at the local theatre. “ It looks good on my college applications.” He said.  “Plus, it’s giving me some real practice with costume making and sewing.”

Lying to his soulmates made Roman feel icky so he lied as little as he could.  I’m getting a job, so I won’t be able to talk as much. I need to save up for college.

That’s so exciting!!

Work is important, but ensure you’re taking the time to rest as well.

I will . He told them. They didn’t need to know that he was rich, that he could attend any school he wanted no saving needed. He didn’t see the need in worrying them with tales of his home life.

Roman didn’t bother to lie to his friends, just let them whine when he didn’t show up to as many parties, when he started spending lunches in the library. Within a couple of months they’d all but forgotten he existed. It didn’t hurt. That was just how his circle of friends were. It didn’t hurt.

He really did start working at the local theatre, using his name and his experience at school to get a job making up costumes. It wasn’t all paid work, but it was enough. He made good friends, got a good reference, and actually enjoyed it.

The second job he got was at the cafe. It was mostly morning work, and definitely led to some close calls with first period, but he managed. The pay probably wasn’t the best either, but they paid in cash and free drinks so he wasn’t about to start complaining.

From there he managed to get a job at a local restaurant too. Night work and weekends, with some fairly decent hours and the money all going into a bank he set up without his mother knowing. 

Maybe three jobs was excessive, especially when all he’d promised Remus was a pen, but the more he thought about it the more it made sense. This way they could just… leave. If Roman worked hard, if he saved, they could get out of there when they turned eighteen. No more mother breathing down their necks, no more reason to hide their bond. 

His resolve just thickened when Dot walked into his cafe one day, when they finally got a chance to catch up.

And of course he did buy Remus that pen. He found one carefully hidden in the design of a locket. 

“There, now you can write whenever you want.” Roman grinned, holding Remus tight when his twin hugged him.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

Later, Roman smiled as he felt a tingling on his right arm.

That theatre job must be working out for you.

He didn’t tell Remus about the other jobs, didn’t want him worrying.

* * *

A week later, that tingle didn’t make him feel nearly as good. Roman looked down to his arm, expecting a drawing or some words.

Instead he found a neon green line, one that seemed to be oozing.

Too much in shock to do anything, Roman could only watch as a second one appeared. The third started and finally he sprung into action. By the time he’d raced into Remus’ ensuite, there were a dozen green lines on his right arm. 

He found Remus sobbing on the floor of the shower, razor raised again. 

“Remus!” Roman grabbed his wrist before he could leave another mark and Remus looked up to him, eyes filled with water. “Remus what’s wrong?” Roman asked, managing a calmer tone as he fell to his knees. He tried to take the knife away and, thankfully, Remus gave it up easily.

“D.” Remus managed through a sob. “He hasn’t, he hasn’t messaged me all week.” 

“I’m sure, I’m sure he has a reason.” Roman tried. Remus only sobbed later, burying his face in Roman’s shoulder. Unsure how to help, Roman just held him until Remus fell asleep. Then he managed to pull Remus into his bed. Their mother would have his head if she caught him in the morning, but Roman didn’t have the heart to pull out of Remus’ desperate clinging.

They didn’t talk about it again. The closest they got was when Remus excitedly told Roman that D was back. 

The cuts on Remus’ arm faded into scars. Those scars didn’t fade from Roman’s arm. 

* * *

Running himself to the ground was eventually going to bite him in the butt. Tie had been saying it for a year. But Roman didn’t listen and now he was paying the price.

“Tsk, here I thought maybe you wouldn’t be such a waste after all.” His mother spat as Roman’s cheek throbbed. “What did I do to deserve such monsters? Bad enough your soulmates with your brother, but to have two more? Disgusting.”

Roman’s not even sure how she found out anymore. Was it something he said? 

Oh no, he remembers.

He’d been in such a rush to change out of his uniform that he’d forgotten to put his undershirt back on. Of course that had to be the one day that his mother was out of the office. 

She berated him for an hour and Roman just… sat there. He wanted to defend himself. Wanted to argue that he didn’t get a choice about soulmates but even if he did, he’d choose them. They were wonderful, amazing people and he was lucky to have them.

But that would do him no good with her, so he kept those words to himself and clung to them. 

Eventually, he mother stormed off.

“Ha, now you know what it’s like to be the mistake.” Remus joked from the doorway. Or maybe he wasn’t joking. Either way, something in Roman snapped. Something like too little sleep and too many emotions, all bottled too tightly.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?!” He said, glaring at Remus and trying to ignore the stringing in his check.

“Just that now you know how bad I have it.” Remus claimed, shrugging like it was no big deal.

“How bad you have it?!” Roman scoffed. “At least  you get to be invisible. At least you don’t have to deal with her breathing down your neck!”

“Oh no, how horrible it must be for you for mum to actually care.” Remus mocked. “Can’t relate.”

“You think that’s care?!” Roman snapped. “She doesn’t care about either of us!”

“Oh no, she doesn’t care about me. She  cares about you.” Remus argued.

“She uses me.” Roman growled. “She expects her the model son, can do no wrong bullshit. Like I could ever live up to that! At least she doesn’t expect anything from you.”

“Oh no, Roman’s the golden boy, so hard for him.” Remus rolls his eyes. 

“Fuck you Remus.” Roman growled. He didn’t wipe his eyes until after he’d slammed the door to his room.

Back when they were kids, they’d always write ‘I’m sorry’ after a fight. 

Those words don’t appear on Roman’s arm, not this time, and he doesn’t write them either. A few days later they just pretend nothing ever happened. 

But something did.

* * *

The jobs paid off, literally. Once Roman graduated he’d be able to leave his mother’s house and never look back. He wouldn’t even need her help for college.

The plan had always been to move out with Remus of course but… well, there was a week until graduation and Remus was nowhere to be seen. Roman had spent as long as he could waiting at the park before his shift started but he never showed. After his shift, when Roman stopped by his room, he wasn’t there either. There was nothing on his arm.

Are you okay?!? Roman wrote, panicked and shaking and scared. Remus still had to be alive, there were still scars on his arms, but where was he?

I ran away! Remus’ reply came fifteen minutes later, alongside a quickly drawn smiley face with a moustache.

What? Was all Roman could say. Remus ran away? But,  to where?

To D’s place! We’re going to live together, it’ll be great .

You found him? You didn’t tell me.

Nop. We’re meeting at a gas station near him . Roman frowned at the words. Everyone knew there were ways around the natural censorship of the soulbond but they were difficult and it was looked down upon. Still if that’s what Remus wanted, Roman would accept it. He just… he was just hurt that Remus didn’t tell him. Weren’t that soulmates too? Wasn’t this something you should tell your soulmate?

Why didn’t you tell me?

Remus response started with a quick drawing of someone shrugging.  I didn’t want her to find out.

You thought I’d tell her?

You’re always so desperate to make her happy. What with those thousand hours you put into college.

What?? Re, I’m not studying I’ve been working. I was planning to get us a place when we graduated.

Yeah right. If that’s the case why didn’t you tell me huh?

I didn’t want you to worry!!

Well I didn’t want you to tell her. Roman groans at the response, almost throwing his pen in his annoyance. How could Remus think that about him? Didn’t he know Roman? Didn’t he  trust Roman?

A few minutes later, tingling brought Roman’s attention back to his arm.

You could at least pretend to be happy for me.

I am Re!! I’m just hurt you didn’t tell me thats all. Roman assured. It’s not a lie, not really. He’s happy for Remus, happy Remus is going to be with the soulmate that’s clearly already won his heart. But it hurts to know Remus is leaving  him . 

Sorry Ro. Remus replies, drawing a sad face next to it. All Roman can do it sigh. 

Just be safe okay, and keep me updated.

Promise!

Despite his words, Remus writes to him rarely. Even when Roman writes first, he’ll sometimes stop halfway through a response or just give up entirely. After a while, Roman stops trying .

Its okay Princey! He’s probably just settling in! Puppy promises when Roman gets sad enough to complain to his other soulmates.

I had time. The both of you have time despite having moved in together.

Everyone responds to changes in their life differently.

I guess. I’m going to go to bed. Not feeling much better, Roman turns off the light before his soulmates can reply.

* * *

Things got a little better when he met Tie and Puppy. Logan and Patton. 

He met Patton first, when the bubbly young man came into the cafe near college while Roman was working.

“I must say, you don’t peg me for a black coffee kind of guy.” Roman noted when Patton came to collect his coffee. Thankfully, Patton laughed.

“It’s not for me.” He said. “My soulmate, Logan, is in the middle of exams and could really use the pick me up so I’m going to surprise him!” He grinned. “I’m much more a hot chocolate drinker myself.”

“So romantic.” Roman smiled back. “I will stop keeping you from your noble quest, have a nice day.” He added. It always made him feel good to see customers laughing, and Patton really didn’t hold back. It was an easy conversation to remember.

So when, a few minutes later, he felt a tingling one his arm, Roman could help but feel hope blooming in his chest.

\----- where are you? Ive got a surprise!

In the library of course.

But where in the library????

Hesitantly, Roman pressed his pen to his arm. Please, he though, please.

That surprise wouldn’t happen to be a black coffee, would it?  Puppy drew a shocked face before his response.

Howd you know????

Biting back a grin, Roman’s hands where shaking a little as he replied.  Come back to the cafe, I forgot to give you my number.

Moments later two boys ran into the cafe, completely out of breath. Roman grinned ear to ear and wrapped them both in a tight hug.

Later that night, curled up with his soulmates, Roman wrote on his right arm for the first time in weeks.

I found them, my other soulmates.

Remus didn’t reply for an hour, and when he finally did the shortness of his reply made Roman’s heart ache.

Neat.

* * *

Ever since he ran away, Roman only saw Remus around Dot. They both still visit her, the only adult that ever seemed to care when they were kids, and sometimes that means they see each other.

They fight a lot.

Never where she can see, never where she can hear, but it seemed any time they were alone they were fighting. Sometimes it was about big things - like Remus’ lack of a job or how his relationship didn’t seem particularly healthy. Other times it was stupid things. About who had the last cookie, or about how one or the other didn’t do the dishes right. Roman hated it. But he wasn’t sure how to make things better.

Sometimes he came home from those trips and he wouldn’t even look at his right arm, not wanting to risk seeing traces of Remus in his life. Not that there was anything to see, he didn’t remember the last time he felt his arm tingle.

Which is why he doesn’t actually know when it happened. He doesn’t know what fight tipped them over the edge. What fight they just couldn’t recover from. Maybe Remus knew, if he did he probably wouldn’t tell Roman.

The moment he got the call that Dot was in hospital, he wrote a message to Remus. By the time he got there, he hadn’t gotten a response.

“Is Remus coming?” Dot asked an hour later, voice weaker than Roman’s ever heard it.

“Of course.” Roman lied so easily, not a moment of hesitation in his voice. “He’s just been held up.”

When Dot drifted off, he still hadn’t gotten a reponse. Huffing, annoyed, Roman finally pulled out his phone and sent Remus a photo of his arm.

‘ Are seriously going to ignore me about this?’ He added, hoping his annoyance is conveyed well in the words.

The response he got was a photo of Remus’ arm.

There was… there was no red text. 

‘Not my fault. Looks like both are arms are looking bare.’ Remus texted. Frowning, Roman looked to his arms and realized.

There aren’t any scars.

Remus’ scars had faded from his skin and his words hadn’t reached Remus. That can… that can only mean one thing.

“We aren’t soulmates anymore.” 

The realization was crushing. Tears slipped on Roman’s face before he even knew what was happening. His brother. His first soulmate, the person that had known his all his life. That bond was gone.

Roman knew it could happen. Even soulmates are perfect. Sometimes they drift apart, sometimes they leave, sometimes they pass away. He’d never thought it would happen to him. And on his right arm…

By the time Remus got to the hospital, Roman was long gone. Huddled up in his hotel room with Patton and Logan on speaker while he sobbed his heart out. 

They didn’t talk much after that. Not even at Dot’s funeral. Roman couldn’t even meet Remus’ eye, couldn’t swallow down the guilt and hurt and pain he felt every time he saw his blank right arm. Horrible enough to be mourning the closest thing he had to a parent that day, but to be mourning a soulbond too? It was too much. Roman was sure if he meet Remus’ eyes he’d fall apart.

Somewhere, he felt like his mother was finally happy for the first time in her life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want to see more of this au. 
> 
> Things will eventually get better for Roman and Remus, I promise.


End file.
